It wasn't too long ago that I was just like everyone else. Then I started selling my body to people so they could photograph it. Just a few photos here and there for minor products that you probably can't pronounce because you can't do this with your tongue (see picture right). At first it was a few dollars per picture. I did some stuff for marketing agencies the government has hired to help out relations, mostly just dressing up in robes and posing with a bunch of other guys and some soldiers in front of desert backgrounds. Then I found out the agency I was working with had clients on the other side of the ocean as well, looking to advertise products. Mostly food.
I ate the food made in factories in some third world countries they took pictures of me doing it. As most of you have astutely observed I love to eat. I will eat anything. I will eat everything. I will enjoy it. I pack the food in my mouth with a smile on my face and they flash pictures of me doing it. This transcends the mere photograph giving smiles and pleasures and goodness to everyone who sees it. They think if they buy this food they will eat it and they will smile like that and they won't be hungry any more.
They also make toys over there and take pictures of me playing with them. I also enjoy toys. Little wooden soldiers made by little children lining up in rows to do battle. I play and they take pictures. I got to ride around in this toy car that they're making somewhere in Eastern Europe to sell in Egypt. I have a very large range. I can look anything from eight to twenty. That's why I'm so useful to photographers because they can get twice as many shots done in half the time. So I'm four times as better than most people.
The big names in the marketing industry have really started to like my work. Every time someone sees an advertisement with me in it they buy the product because I trick them into thinking that it will make them as happy as I am. I'm now quite famous in Pakistan. I'm the Siraiki Pizza man. I've sold more pizzas in Pakistan than everyone else combined. I'm very proud of this. I've been working with Malaysian companies too. If you go to the mall there you'll see that my face is everywhere. I am solely responsible for the recent fashionability of turbans in Malay.
More recently I have been hired on for private purposes. I can't tell you who is hiring me, but it's important people in other countries. Usually middle-aged women. They fly me to their houses tell me what I have to wear and then take pictures and then they fly me home. Some of them are very friendly. A few times I have been offered a bit of extra money to do a bit of extra work. Everything is a lot of fun. But I seem to be getting deeper into the industry and I don't know how to get out. The money is good, but I want to be a doctor and when I'm in school I won't have time to fly around the world satisfying the whims of rich older women. It's a good job but it can't last. But the more of myself I sell the more money I make.