I have done it. I applied, put all my eggs into one basket, and no matter how risky or dangerous it was, I made it. My dream has come true and nothing can make me upset anymore. Ladies and gentlemen, I have become a Bilokonsky.

But now that I have become part of this infamous dynasty. I have to work hard and make sure to remain in good standing. I do appreciate my testicles, and apparently Yuriy has a nasty habit of doing away with peoples' baby makers. Just recently he had an article, and in it he says that somebody got his happy parts chopped up.

Just announcing here that Maxxy got his balls cut off last Friday.

Just look at how calmly he states it. Absolute, stoic emotion. He has no empathy of feelings, like a psychopath he states what he has done. I thought that maybe Maxy was a dog, but alas, Mykola knocked down that rumour.

What dog? Maxxy is our little brother.

It is a great honor to become a Bilokonsky, and I hope to prove myself worthy of such esteem and prestige, all while keeping my genitals intact. The rewards greatly outweight the risks, and I am confident that the pleasure of being part of the family will never stop.

But why would such great men let a plebian as myself into their crime family? We all know that the Bilokonsky's are like gods. That is cool and all, but Gods can't meddle in human affairs. As the three brothers circulate Newsvine, they see evil deeds going on around the world that they must stop. It must tear them apart to not be able to use the Hammer of the Gods to crush ignorance, and spread joy, knowledge, atheism, and socialism. As the holy trinity, they must be observers, but by combining with me to become the Bilokonsky four (Tetrakonsky?), they will lose their status in the realm of the Gods, and will finally be able to get their hands dirty in the affairs of mortals.

But that's not all they'll do; there is much fun to be had and as a group of four us Bilokonsky's can form a rock band. I call lead guitar, and once I get in some practice (about 30 years should suffice) I'll be ready to rock with the trinity and the second swing of the Hammer of the Gods will occur. We will change the course of humanity forever with our sweet riffs, and people will be too busy dancing the night away and war will die out, taking humanity to its apex and enabling men to go where no one has gone before. It will be the Bilokonskys' excellent adventure.

This induction of me into the Bilokonsky Dynasty is a major deal and probably the most important event of my life. I haven't been informed of an initiation ceremony as of now, but I'm sure they'll tell me about it and it'll be full of goats and candles, but hopefully not cutting of balls. We're gonna be big one day, and I thought I should let everyone know of this momentous occasion. I will gladly accept gifts and food and we'll be having Jewish food and dancing after the formal ceremony and my reading from the sacred Bilokonsky Tablets while wearing the traditional headgear.

It is a big day today. Today, I am no longer remain a childish, skittish, boy. I am no longer just plain old Ansab. Today I am a man. Today, I become Ansab Bilokonsky.